Promises I Made To Myself

To myself, the one whom i've been questioning for these few months...

when i first started studying here, i thought that it would be easy for me...

But what happened exactly so different...

I asked to myself, "why do i become like this? what's obstructing me at this point?"

I didn't get the answer..

Is it the way i live which wasn't same as before?

Is it the way i live with the people here?

Is it because there's something missing? This one could be the answer, because of that i had gloomy nights thereafter...

Why am i getting stucked with this kind of thing? It seems like a useless thing to do

I've lost it, i want to get it back! But how??

I actually knew the answer, but i took too much time regretting the lost and did nothing to get the lost thing back...

Because of that too, i lost my interest in studying, how could i do such a thing because another thing?

But, that's for real, i can't seem to move on because of that one thing

Why? Is that thing so important to me? I would answer, yes

That one thing gave me spirit to live, and even, to study

And it's my fault to have lost it

What i want to do right now is.. "To get the lost thing back to me without regretting why i've lost it, so i can do it easily"

...........

Then, another problem occured, i lost my interest in studying

That made my score dropped down so much...

Even though i have consulted, but still i have the problem...

Soon i realized something, from a video i watched, "the problem is me" the problem is not the environment, not the lost thing..

So i listened to a song, the lyric i found was "Time is life so spend your days the way you want"

I promise to myself, to not waste the time anymore, wasting the time means the time is killing me...

My cousin even said, " What do you study for? For the test, or for the knowledge?"

Promise is a promise, this note is a proof that i promise to myself...